Pssst, girl have you heard…aka Sins I Still Struggle With…

Hello World!!!

I hope that even though the New Year is a officially a month old as of  today, you still have the fresh-faced optimism that a New Year brings…I do…And while it is a New Year, I realized last week that there are some behaviors that I should have left in 2009 but have managed to stay with me in the new decade…

So last week, I reconnected with an old friend that I haven’t spoken with in years.  And this old friend gave me some good ole juicy gossip – not new stuff necessarily but stuff that was sooo inflammatory I felt like I had to tell somebody…Now if y’all are dyed-in-the-wool gossips like I am, you know you can’t tell your good ole gossip all willy nilly lest your news be ill received or worse, not responded to at all…So like a cheetah eyeing its prey, I found just the woman I wanted to tell my gossip to…I knew she would appreciate it just like I did…and we would laugh together in glee at the news we were privy to…Well, I said something like, “Girl, when you pass by here again, gone head and stop because I got something good to tell you.” I kind of snickered in a devilish way for effect after my statement. “And if you don’t appreciate gossip, you might not want to hear it.”  That my disclaimer. She smiled and said to tell her next week because she was fasting then…Oh well, as we gossips know, everybody ain’t ready to hear what you got to share…That’s cool though. You just got to find another worthy person which with to get in cahoots…

So about an hour or so later, I was on the telephone with another friend. I was reasonably sure this person wouldn’t appreciate the goods either but I tested her out anyway…I said, “Girl, I shouldn’t be gossiping but…” She rebuked me like the devil and told me she was fasting too and didn’t want to hear it…Well, then my feelings were hurt…Well, not really…I knew then that God was trying to get my attention…so I didn’t attempt to share my gossip at Bible Study that night in the form of a prayer request like I can do sometimes…”Well, y’all need to pray for so and so because they are going through___________.” Scandalous, I know….

I guess what is so difficult for me is that I am truly nosy by nature and it has served me well in my chosen career…and journalists are,  in fact, paid to be nosy…And I relish it, let me tell you…and sometimes it is hard to tell the difference between when I’m doing my job and when I’m carefully trying to ferret out details that are really none of my business…So how do I differentiate between gossip and news? Well first of all, I believe that God has no problem with me reading my gossip blogs…My girl from LuxeTips and I are notorious among our girls for knowing all of the celebrity dish…Some people tune into football…We tune into the celebrity world…I honestly don’t feel there is a problem with that…We laugh about folk’s drama according to certain blogs or discuss who was wearing what at different events…No harm, no foul…I think most celebrities think that if you’re not talking about them, they are not relevant anyway…

But I do feel a pang of guilt when I’m talking about takes on a life of its own and I find myself discussing Jay-Z and Beyonce’s relationship with a passion that I know would better be directed toward my own life…And I certainly know its wrong to collect gossip on people I know like I have some sort of mental file cabinet in my head in which each person has his or her own file…And I am guilty of that…And God is not pleased…I was talking with someone last night and they finally had to cut me off like I was a drunk at a bar…This person had shared some great dish up until that point but even they had enough of my pleas to “Tell Me!” 

Since today is Sunday, it’s a perfect opportunity to renew my commitment to live within the will of God…and sometimes, it can be hard to figure out God’s will…But when the issue is clearly addressed in the Bible, I know there is no excuse to act ignorant….

If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. James 1:26

I’m making a joke of this…but for real, God is not pleased…I will be praying for forgiveness…

Any thoughts?

This song perfectly addresses one of my other issues…Y’all pray for me…


~ by jackieholness on January 31, 2010.

3 Responses to “Pssst, girl have you heard…aka Sins I Still Struggle With…”

  1. Just to be clear, I define gossip at any (negative) second hand knowledge passed along without the primary party’s awareness or permission. I don’t think opinion sharing falls into this category (i.e. I don’t like that dress).
    I guess the thing about gossip is that it’s always juicy …. when it’s not about you. I, too, am guilty of indulging in celebrity gossip. But I guess the difference is that many celebrities put that information is out there for public consumption. Many of them seem to get a kick out of being on the cover of tabloids and seem to take intentional dives all to be the next best … But in real life – with real people – it’s different. Many of us go to great lengths to keep our private lives private. Some of us share our deepest and most vulnerable hours with a close friend during times of need. Nothing hurts more than to learn that you were the recent discussion at someone’s brunch or lunch gathering.

    Unfortunately, it happens more times that not so let me also add that it pains me to know that someone I consider(ed) a friend regularly indulges in gossip. Random people talking about random things they heard does not tend to phase me … most times I chalk it up to them not having enough of their own juice to focus on. But a friend – that chips away at my heart – because there is often so much more behind the gossip. Is it jealousy? It is our continuous effort to tear others down or prove how imperfect their lives really are? Is it to retain our rankings of #1 scoop deliverer?

    I have one person that I confide in on a regular basis – that’s my significant other. He knows most juice/dirt I have. But rarely do our conversations begin with “I heard” – most times it is “so and so told me ….”

    Not at all saying that I am perfect or never gossip (far from the truth), but I try to limit my other conversations to things about my life. When others are involved, the conversations are geared towards factual information – what I know not what I have heard. What I think/feel in response to an action I witnessed. Things that I would have no reservations about sharing with the subject in his/her presence.

    But perhaps that’s gossip as well. Someone else is still the topic of discussion. Perhaps I’ve found a way to justify gossiping by focusing on “factual” information and labeling it as “my opinion.” So I guess my question is – is that still gossip or just conversation sharing?

    Word play.

    • Well Bloggess, it would certainly hurt me if I found out that someone that I considered to be my friend indulged in gossip about me…but since I know I can gossip some times, it shouldn’t surprise me if someone “turns the tables” on me… I would deserve it from time to time actually…but thankfully God nudges me when I’m on the wrong path in this area, and I’m thankful I’m willing to heed the warning…but it is certainly easier said than done…sometimes there is a need to discuss “factual” information, but I think we all know on the inside when we have crossed the line…

  2. Forgot to say “great post!” And I commend you for having/receving that inner nudge … I don’t tend to adhere as willingly so I try just to stay clear (avoid the temptation) altogether. And through my lengthy response 🙂 I guess all I was trying to say is that – unfortunately – I think it’s more common than not. However, I view it differently and more concerned when it’s a friend; the others I can’t be concerned with. Thanks for the post!

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